Sometimes I scratch my mind and stuff..

I miss having someone who is on the same level as me, someone who shares the same goals as me, who feels the way I do about where they are headed in life. It’s a hard thing when you realise the person you thought you were going to spend your life with, has conflicting ideas on what they want in life and suddenly you see that you are both headed in different directions. It’s been me and my goals and ambitions for a year and a half now and it’s been great getting to understand who I am and what I want.but it’s a lonely way to be sometimes. 
In my last relationship, it was always the two of us. We wanted the same thing, we loved the same things and it was like we were the same person but then that changed. I am dating someone now and as much as I like him, I don’t think it’s going to be a long term thing. Even though it is very early days, I can already see that we want different things, I like the city and don’t want to live in the outskirts but he wants a big property and to have a big family. I want to have a small family that I can take on overseas holidays. Will I find someone who wants these things too or am I forever going to like people and develop relationships with people that I will eventually have to break off because we want different things. Do I need to change what I want? How is that even accomplished? 

Sometimes I scratch my mind and stuff..

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